"But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." - Heb 11:6
It's the beginning of a new month ... it's usually the time when I get stressed out the most. Mortgages are due ... 5 of them! Plus all the other bills and tasks that help maintain a household and a business. This is not a fun place for me. This has been and still IS my test of faith. How will I react this month? More importantly, how will my reaction affect those around me?
It's a constant struggle ... I will be faithful. I will trust in You, Lord.
Then, next thing you know, it's shallow breathing, short fuse, and very little patience ... It can't possibly work this time. This is when I should remember the verse above.
First, I have to have faith (without it, why even bother going to God). Second, I must believe ... that He has a plan for us, that He is taking us through some shaping and molding, that He is ultimately in control. Third, I must diligently seek Him if I want to be rewarded. Not of material stuff (although that is our immediate need) ... but to be rewarded of His grace, His mercy and His love.
Where we are financially has been a humbling experience and it continues to be (that's a separate post in itself). Daily we have to move forward ... we have to have hope. Sometimes, I look for the quick fix and plan the "escape" from the financial hole. But then I realize ... this is exactly where God wants me to be. To be dependent on Him alone ... not living out of my own strengths, skills, and abilities. But to take steps of faith. To trust. To yield. To surrender. Yes we were blessed financially years before, but we were also no way near to God.
But I thought the "blessings" would come if we draw near to Him ... not the kind of blessings I was thinking of (kids in private school, extra money to spend on what I want, Ryan home from work) ... but it's even better than I can imagine ... if only I can see the "real" blessings behind the fog ... a relationship with my One True Maker. How awesome and magnificent is that! Probably worth very little to the world around me ... but I know that my joy is completed in Him.
And so tomorrow, I move forward ... to have more faith and to have more hope ... in the present and in the future.
2 comments:
you and me both sister! But fear not for you and your walk inspire me, so you must not be doing too bad.
P.s. I loved our lunch today!!!! you ladies are good for my soul.
Thank you for this reminder. I believe in our God, I have faith in our God, yet I still struggle with trusting our God....and without trust, how can we be obedient? But you are right, if we see through the "fog", our joys are right in front of us. God doesn't hide anything from us, if our eyes are set on Him, He is faithful to reveal it all....now if only I could tatoo that on my hand so I could remind myself daily! :)
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