Exceedingly Thankful

My eyelids are about to fall and stay closed for, I think, a good solid 10 hours.  Sleep.  It's what my body needs at the moment.  But I think I will wait and instead pen a work that God has done in my heart this past few weeks.

This past weekend, my family embarked on a one-of-a-kind journey.  In reality, it actually started over 2 months ago -- when I signed up my family of five to sleep in our car for a night.  It was a sleep-in-your-car-athon called 24 In Your Car, organized by a local shelter for battered women and children known as Shepherd's Gate.

An "outside of the box" approach to raise awareness for homelessness and to raise funds for Shepherd's Gate by gathering sponsorships or pledges just as you would in a walk-a-thon. We were to become homeless for 24 hours and sleep in our car for a night.

Little did I know that God would show Himself real to me throughout this journey.  It was a divine appointment.

We set a sponsorship goal of $350 for our entire family (Shepherd's Gate recommended 10 sponsorships at $24 each).  In my thinking, this was a lofty goal.  Do I really know at least 15 people who would donate $24 each to this cause?  I am not the sales type who has no problem approaching people in person.  But I was up for the challenge.  So I typed up a template sponsorship letter and sent it individually to most of my friends on Facebook (Yes, the non-sales type sent a message over Facebook!)  I thought, maybe at least some of my family will say yes!  And this is where God showed up.  And He showed up big!

The sponsorships started coming in slowly, online and by mail.  Two weeks after I emailed the letters, we were really close to our goal of $350.  So I adjusted the goal to $400 ... then to $450 ... then to $500 ... then to $700. (Do you see it?  I had such little faith, yet God kept showing up!)  Two weeks before the event, I raised the goal one last time to $1000.  Can God fill in the gap less than two weeks before the event and with the amount almost as big as our original goal?

You bet.

Our donation tally actually closed at $1,103!  A testament that we serve a God "who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think" (Ephesians 3:20).

God, thank you.

But this was more than just the amount of money raised.  Yes, God indeed increased my faith in Him because He is faithful!  But He also blessed me in ways I did not expect.

I was overwhelmed by people's generosity.  In times like these where it's hard to make ends meet sometimes, people opened up their finances and gave -- out of the goodness of their hearts, and perhaps because of the leading of the Holy Spirit, they sowed into something impactful.  And they were grateful that I asked them to be a part of a worthy cause.  That blessed me exceedingly.

God, again, I thank you.

He, who is sovereign, added one more layer to this homelessness experience.

On May 13th, we received the long-awaited letter from our mortgage lender stating that our loan is in default, and that they are intending to proceed with the foreclosure proceedings unless we pay our outstanding balance - 2 years worth of mortgage payments.

The thought of losing our home made 24inyourcar such a surreal experience.  God had me in such a vulnerable moment that I really have no choice but to trust in a God who is FAITHFUL.  I was about to live in my car for 24 hours and have a taste of what it is like to be homeless, with the news hanging over my head that losing our home might become a reality.

Saturday night, I slept restless and uncomfortable in the driver seat of our Honda Pilot, while the rest of my family slept in the back, with all the seats down flat.  We couldn't all fit in the back, so one of us had to sleep on a seat that barely reclined.  It reminded me of a non-stop 16-hour flight to the Philippines.  At moments, I was cold.  Other times, I wanted to stretch my legs but couldn't.  The bright street lights glared all night.  I barely slept.  It was rest-less.  I could not imagine doing this for more than a day.

That evening, I was humbled.  And grateful that we have a home to go home to still. 

Thank you Lord.  Thank you.

I have no doubt that God will provide all our needs (Philippians 4:19).  He said so and I believe it.  But my job to trust is not an easy task, I know.  But to trust Him, I must.

I came away from this experience changed.  Knowing a little more how ...

To empathize ... with those without a home.

To have faith ... that God will fill in the gap.

To trust ... that God will supply all of our needs.

To say thanks ... in all things.

I hope and pray that I do not take anything for granted.  I am thankful that tonight I will be sleeping on a bed instead of on the driver seat of an SUV - completely stretched out instead of curled up in an uncomfortable ball.  I am thankful that my children are healthy.  I am thankful that I have a husband who loves me.  I am thankful for all the days (6 years and counting) that I was and am privileged to stay in our home.

Everyday is a gift.  Every moment is a gift.

Lord help me lift up my heart to You and say ...

Living Radically Right Where I Am

I am a mother of three, ages 5, 6 and 8, and a wife to a hard working man.  They are my world.  I live and breathe motherhood, and I make attempts to be my husband's help meet.

So how can I possibly be radical where I am at the moment?  In between homeschooling, meal preps, laundry, and picking up toys.

But radical doesn't have to be outside the home.  Radical can be inside our four walls ... in the midst of homeschooling, meal preps, laundry and picking up toys.

Radical can be as simple as a mother's prayer.

So do I then set aside a time to pray for my children?  I can.  And I should.  But I want more than that.  I want to walk and live prayer.

So I use visual cues to help me throughout the day.  A marvelous idea I got from a book.

When I put away their shoes:  Lord I pray for their feet to stay on Your Word.
When I prepare their meals:  Lord I pray that Your Word will be their Bread of Life.
When I wash and fold their clothes:  Lord I pray that they clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and most of all, love.
When I pick up their toys: Lord I pray that in their abundance, they will have a heart for the poor and the needy.
When I put away their books and school work: Lord I pray that Your Word will be their guide ... that they seek the wisdom and knowledge that only You can give.

The list could go on right out of this page.  Finding ways for God to influence their world.  It makes me right happy.

Yes!  Living radically right where I am.  Inside my current world as a mom.

Final thoughts ... and New Plans

It's been 3 days since the 21-day fast ended. I'm thankful to be chewing food again. Ha! :)

Just some final thoughts about this year's awakening journey ...

Having done this before, I knew going into it what I needed to do.  The steps were familiar.  This year's focus is not so much what I needed to do during the fast but what I intend to do AFTER.

There are some things I said I would do after. A plan. And I continue to do them.  But there's something else.

Our pastor's prayer to increase our capacity has been stirring in my heart.  Increasing our capacity to know God, to love Him and to serve Him.

And God is calling me to step out of my box and reach out.  To influence more than the people inside my home and my homeschooling community.  Especially people at church. Specifically other women.  To come alongside them.  To encourage.  To be a helping hand.  To build relationships.

I don't know what that looks like.  It's a little intimidating.  But I know He is calling me to step out in faith.  And I know I don't need to know what that looks like.  All He is asking is my obedience and faith.

My response then shall be, "Okay Lord, as You will."

Father God.  Your ways are not my ways.  Your thoughts are not my thoughts.  Your plans are bigger and better than I can ever imagine.  I long to do Your will.  Help me to have a heart of obedience Lord.  Make Your next plans for me clear.  Help me to step out in faith. Amen.

Day 19: Hunger

I've never been so hungry in my life.  The smell of food turns my stomach in a knot.

The Holy Spirit quickened my spirit the other day to remember those who are physically hungry on a daily basis. Unlike them, my hunger has an end.  Their hunger is often times not by choice. 

My heart cries ... What can I do Lord? Show me how I can help those who are hungry. 

No doubt, I am physically hungry. But what's more important is that I should be spiritually hungry too.
Hungry for God's Word.
Hungry for the things that matter to Him.
Hungry to worship Him, to love Him and to serve Him.

And have the passion to show others how to be hungry for Him.

My inward desires going beyond myself. Stepping out of the box and reaching out to others who don't know God ... or those who are on the fence about Him.

My heart cries once more ... Lord, show me how to do just that. Allow me to show Your heart to others. Boldly. Confidently. Without reservation. 

"Blessed are those who hunger and  thirst  for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. 

(Matthew 5:6 ESV)

Day 17: Intentionality Requires A Plan

"This will be your best year ever - IF it is your best year spiritually." - Stovall Weems

Intentionality requires a plan.  Desired changes won't happen by chance.

Therefore, I intend to:
* Fast and pray on the first 3 days of every month
* Continue to seek God daily
* Facebook - extend fast to 40 days except for Pampered Chef duties; after 40 days, check once a day after school
* TV time - extend fast to 40 days; after 40 days, watch on Mon, Wed, Fri and Sat only
* Read a book that's good for the soul
* Host a family from church every other month
* Host a giggle factory event every other month

Now the only thing left to do is to WORK the plan.

Faith without works is dead.

1000 Gifts 2013

In 2012, I counted 529 gifts.  This year, I hope to count at least 1000.  The day's blessings should never go unnoticed. I know somedays, I have to search for them.  Counting gifts reminds me of the Giver - the One who is worthy to be praised for all that I have. Thank you Lord for the gifts yesterday, today and tomorrow.

#530.  Thankful for the start of another year
#531.  For libraries ... Jordan getting his library card for the first time
#532.  A gift inside (the car) ... boys and their new toy - an advance birthday gift from their uncle.
#533.  A gift outside ... twinkling stars in the night sky
#534.  A gift on a plate ... grilled chicken sandwich made by my hubby
#535.  A grace overheard ... "Here Asher , you can play with my toy" (kindness by a 6yr old boy)
#536.  For warm heat on cold winter days
#537.  For hearty kids ... jumping on trampoline shirtless on a cold day
#538.  A gift old ... blankets!
#539.  A gift new ... warm boots
#540.  A gift blue ... blue sky on a warm winter day
#541.  Something I am seeing ... a boy and his love for video games
#542.  Something I am reading ... God's Word
#543.  Something I am making ... memories!
#544.  For the first church day of the new year
#545.  Lunch with the aunties
#546.  Boys rolling with laughter.  They sure know how to make each other laugh.
#547.  For moss covered trees
#548.  For a park at the end of a hike
#549.  For the time to hike alone with the kids.  They say they had fun.  So did I.
#550.  Seeing Rye-rye play with his uncle
#551.  For brother and sister connecting over Legos
#552.  A gift sat with ... my soon-to-be 5 year old
#553.  A gift held ... little Avery!
#554.  Watching old videos of the kids and looking through old pictures ... great laughs and fond memories!
#556.  A gift just right ... having my mom for 2 weeks. We all had such a good visit with her.  We will miss her very much.
#557.  A gift that' sweet ... almost 6dozen cupcakes for Rye-rye's birthday party
#558.  For a 5th bithday for a sweet boy!
#559.  Yellow gift of fresh mercy ... birthday candle flames marking another year of life
#560.  A gift below ... brothers and sister cuddled on the floor for a movie
#561.  A gift beside ...my husband as we cuddle on the couch
#562.  I am grateful for my bdy even after having 3 kids
#563.  I am grateful that I like things organized and clean
$564.  I am grateful that I am a wife and a mother
#565.  For finding ice over a creek on a hike!
#566.  For seeing a light brown squirrel ... a first!
#567.  For a warm shower after a cold 5-mile hike
#568.  For God's sovereignty.  It was early 2009 when we first started worrying about losing our house.  That's almost 4 years ago and we ad still here.  Thank you Lord for this gift.
#569.  A gift shared ... coloring time between 2 brothers
#570.  A gift worn ... a blanket as she built puzzles on the floor
#571.  A gift given away ... hugs and kisses
#572.  Guinea pigs taking a bath.  An act of service by the kids. So sweet.
#573.  My 5-yr old cleaning partner.  He sprayed.  I wiped.
#574.  Mid-week prayer service.  The blending of faith.
#575.  A gift bringing quiet ... 21-day fasting and prayer
#576.  A gift bringing laughter ... kids acting their own version of America's Funniest Videos
#577.  A gift bringing prayer ... Psalm 86
#578.  A gift in God's Word ... Romans 1:1-4
#579.  A gift in God's Word ... Matthew 26:41
#580.  A gift in God's Word ... Psalm 46:10
#581.  A gift that might never been ... a quiet moment to think and ponder if I didn't fast from TV and social media
#582.  A gift that might never have been ... encouraging my host and following up with her guests resulted in a show to submit! Persistence and not giving up.
#583.  A gift that might never have been ... snacking on fruits and nuts if I didn't fast carbs
#584.  Realizing for the first time that I didn't say no to my abusers because I didn't want to confront them.  It was easier at that time to stay quiet.
#585.  Realizing that my youngest is now the oldest in his Sunday school class
#586.  Fresh air circulating inside a closed-up house in winter
#587.  A gift in sky - clear and blue.  So beautiful. Perfect for a hike day.
#588.  A gift in water ... thirst quencher on a 2.5 mile hike
#589.  A gift in memory ... God's faithfulness in the last 5 years
#590.  A father's devotion to playing tooth fairy to our daughter
#591.  A new way to play Go Fish ... upside down!
#592.  Boldness to lead worship solo for a CHECC meeting
#593.  A gift found in Jesus Christ ... His death on the cross for my sake.  Forgiveness!
#594.  A gift found in Jesus Christ ... His example of what it means to love
#595.  A gift found in Jesus Christ ... Redemption!
#596.  A gift blue ... blue sky on a winter day
#597.  A gift blue ... blue sweater on a cute boy
#598.  A gift blue ... blue CBS book and blue ink for or memory verse
#599.  A little girl singing in bed ... such a sweet voice
#600.  Full moon that's low over the sky
#601.  A baby shower for a friend ... celebrating a new life
#602.  A breakthrough for Ryan regarding his habit.  God touching his heart.
#603 - 605.  3 gifts in the kitchen ... a big window that overlooks the backyard, enough cabinets to hold our stuff, and food!
#606 - 608.  3 gifts found in friends ... encouragement, support, and loving me where I am
#609.  A song heard ... A Happy Birthday greeting to grandma
#610.  A light seen ... first light of the day outside bedroom window reflected on wall creating shadows
#611.  An old thing seen new ... the living Word giving new revelation all the time
#612.  A gift in a picture ... my girl holding a precious baby
#613.  A gift in a Person ... Jesus Christ - the One Person that matters the most
#614.  A gift in paper ... prayers for my kids as I go about my day
* * * *
FEBRUARY
#615.  A gift red ... strawberries for a smoothie during a fast
#616.  A girl reading stories to 3 younger boys.  So sweet.
#617.  Pink sky at sunset
#618.  New park fun (cement slides at the Golden Gate Park in SF)
#619.  Cardboard box sleds for a cement slide
#620.  The conclusion of the 21-day fast
#621.  Watching the Super Bowl game with friends
#622.  For food I can bite into and chew
#623.  A gift found when bent down ... laced up hiking boots
#624.  A gift found when bent down ... grass seedlings on hike trails
#625.  A gift found when bent down ... wild daffodils near hike trails
#626.  A gift woven ... my children's hearts for each other, made possible by homeschooling
#627. A gift hammered ... nails through His hands for a wretched me

Day 15: My Final Week

Today marks a new territory for me.

For the final week of fasting, I am on a liquid only fast (juice, herbal tea, broth, shakes).  This is by far the hardest week as far as hunger, and its only the first of 7 days.  But I also believe that this week will be my most meaningful week - spiritually.

Questions to ponder.

Decisions to be made.

Plans to implement. Intentionality.

A life to be changed. Radically. And for the glory of God.

Lord, my life is in Your hands. Mold it and shape it as You wish. Grant me a new and undivided heart. May my life be a witness and a light that leads people back to You.